What I learned from my bishop today

"How's your relationship with God?"
I got asked this question earlier today, when meeting with Bishop Aymond to discuss my vocational discernment. The question really caught me off guard. Have you ever been asked a really simple question and to your surprise found yourself completely befuddled as to what the answer is? That was me, tongue-tied by the simplest question.

I could look at all the reasons this is the case, but at the moment it seems more pertinent to simply ask myself, how is my relationship with God? Being the doctrinal and theological enthusiast that I am, the way I'm inclined to describe my relationship is in entirely objective terms. So basically, I'm not under mortal sin which means I am currently receiving sanctifying grace from the Lord. But that really says nothing about the state of our relationship. That's just the simplest way to describe my spiritual state at the moment.

So how is my relationship with him? Have I listened to him in a while? I suppose I have, but I always hesitate to listen as if I'm expecting to hear actual words from him. Cuz that doesn't usually happen. Do I really ask for his wisdom in my day-to-day problems? I'm really not sure. Am I a friend of God? Objectively, yes, but do I treat him so? Am I comfortable with dropping everything and making time for him?

Ultimately I realized after Bishop Aymond asked me this question that knowing God is not the same as knowing about God. You can know a whole lot about him and still not really know him, the same way you can read a person's resume and autobiography but still have very little tangible understanding of who they are as a person.

So who is God as a person? And how do I interact with him? Questions to ponder.

How not to handle fear
Again, straight from the bishop. When you enter into a new chapter in your life, into a great unknown, fear will be a fact of life. Don't run from the fear. Don't even ask God to take it away. Invite God into the fear. Remember that there were times in the Gospel where Jesus experienced intense fear. When that happened, he invited God into it. In that sense, he refused to be afraid of his fear. He acknowledged it. He stared it down. He invited God into it. That's how he was able to have courage.

So if you're afraid, just allow that fear to be there. Don't try to conquer it yourself. Invite God into it. Where God is, love is also, and perfect love drives out fear (I John 4:18).