Yesterday morning I had a dentist appointment. It was probably the most successful dentist appointment I have ever had. No cavities, strong gums, and minimal discomfort. But the lady who was cleaning my teeth, God bless her, it was the second time I've had her and we basically had the same conversation as last time. The topic: the possibility of married priests.
This lady is Presbyterian mind you. I'm not one to go around telling my separated brothers and sisters in Christ everything that is wrong and lacking in there religion, especially not if they're horizontal and I've got both my hands in their mouth. That's just not how I roll. But God bless her, it didn't stop this lady.
"So when are you goin to seminary?" she asks.
"Abow fo monthsh."
"Do you stil want to go?"
No, I just have a guilt-ridden Catholic self-mortification complex. What do you think? "Oh yesh I do."
"Do you think they'll ever let priests be married?"
Sounding as emotionally uninvested as possible: "Uh, I dunno. Waybe."
"I'm for it!" she exclaims, towering over me from behind my chair as she poked and prodded my teeth and gums with sharp metal objects.
To her credit, she actually was interested in what I had to say about the whole matter. I started to say something but then invited her to continue poking and prodding. But she said, "No go ahead." I felt kind of awkward but I figured if she's giving me a forum just as soon take it.
"Well here's what I think would happen. If the Church allowed priests to get married, or allowed married men to become priests, I think a lot of guys like me would say, 'Oh wow! I can get married! So I'll get married and have kids and then I'll think about going to seminary.' But then they'll get married and have kids and pretty soon they'll realize, 'whoa, this being a husband and a father, that's a fulltime job. I don't have time to go to seminary.' So ultimately, allowing priests to get married or married men to become priests might actually decrease the number of guys who go to seminary, because guys like me, who would go, get married and then they don't have time to go."
I opened my mouth big. She went back into my mouth and poked and prodded. "I 'ean 'at's jush wy ofinion."
"No no," she said. "...That's good thinkin'."
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